Hetalia on Avenue Q!
by Valainstima
Summary: Avenue Q Hetalia style! UsCan SuFin Giripan. Parody of Avenue Q
1. Cast

**This was inspired by Avalon Roselin's "Nightmare before Hetalia" **

**A mini project of mine, so don't think I've abandoned my other stories because I haven't. This was just so appealing to me that I just had to get it out.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Hetalia or Avneue Q.**

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**_Cast_**

Kate- Canada/Matthew

Princeton- America/Alfred

Gary Coleman- Hungary/Elizabetha

Trekkie- France/Francis

Lucy T. Slut- Finland/ Tino

Christmas Eve- Japan/Kiku

Nicky-Prussia/Gilbert

Rod- Austria/Rodriech

Ricky- Germany/Ludwig

Brian-Greece/Hercules

Mrs. Thisletwat- England/Arthur

Mr. Slut- Sweden/Berwald

Bad Idea Bears - Russia/Lvan, Ukraine/ Katyusha, Belarus/Natalia

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Okay so right now I'm going to torture you guys for a little bit cuz' you're gunna have to wait til tomorrow for the next chapter.

On a separate note: If anyone would like to join a RP for Hetalia then check out the link to this RP on my profile. We're brand new and if you'd like to join we welcome with open arms!

Happy New Years!


	2. Act 1

_**ACT I**_

_**The Avenue Q Theme**_

_Company_

_The sun is shining__ It's a lovely day,_

_ a perfect morning__ for a kid to play,_

_ but you've got lots__ of bills to pay. _

_What can you do? _

_You work real hard_

_and the pay's real low__ and every hour__ goes oh,_

_ so slow__ and at the end of the day_

_ there's __nowhere to go,_

_but home to Avenue Q!_

_You live on Avenue Q!_

_Your friends do too._

_ You are twenty- two!_

_And __you live on Avenue Q!_

_You live on Avenue Q._

_You __live on Avenue Q!_

Alfred F. Jones, fresh out of college, was looking for an apartment. A cheap one. In Manhattan. As you suspected he has yet to find one. He's been through almost all the avenues from A to O. And here he was at a playground not two blocks from Avenue P sulking miserably at the park bench by the sprinkler.

"No luck. Again" he moaned out, burying his face in the palms of his hands.

_**What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?**_

_Alfred_

_What do you do with a B.A. in English?_

_What __is my life going to be?_

_Four years of __college, _

_and __plenty of knowledge , _

_have earned me__ this useless degree._

_I __can't pay the bills yet,_

_ 'cause I have __no skills yet._

_The world is a __big,_

_scary place..._

_ But somehow I can't shake _

_the feeling I might make_

_a difference_

_to the human race!_

He felt a light tapping on his shoulder. Apparently it was a little girl with short blond hair and bright green eyes.

"What's up kid?" Alfred asked putting on a fake smile. For the children of course.

The little girl looked at him nervously, silently fiddling with her fingers."My kite got stuck in a tree and my big brother is too short to get it out so I was wondering since you're tall enough if you coul-"

"Say no more the hero is on the job!" Alfred interrupted with a bright grin. Ah, how he loved his hero complex. Always ready to help people.

"Really? Thank you so much sir!" The little girl exclaimer lighting up.

Elsewhere...

"Morning Heracles." Matthew said politely.

"Hi, Matt." Heracles replied tiredly.

"How's life?"

"Disappointing."

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, "What's wrong?'

Looking down depressed, Heracles said," The library laid me off."

"Awww I'm so sorry!"

"Eh, it's not your fault. But seriously look at me! I'm ten years out of college, and I always thought -" Heracles stopped himself.

"What?" Matthew asked puzzled.

"No it sounds stupid."

"Aww come on!"

_**It Sucks to be Me**_

_Heracles_

_When I was little I thought I would be..._

"What?"

_Heracles_

_A big comedian on late night TV__ But now I'm thirty-two __and as you can see__ I'm not._

"Nope!"

_Heracles_

_Oh well __ it sucks to be me._

"Nooooo."

_Heracles_

_It sucks to be me._

"No!"

_Heracles_

_It sucks to be broke and unemployed__ and turning thirty- three.__ It sucks to be me._

Matthew put his hands on his hips, "Oh, you think your life sucks?"

"I think so."

"Your problems aren't so bad!"

_Matthew_

_I'm kinda cute, and pretty damn smart._

"You are."

"Thanks!"

_Matthew_

_I like romantic things like music and art.__ And as you know I have a gigantic heart.__ So why, don't I have a boyfriend?__ Fuck! It sucks to be me!_

"Me too!"

_Matthew_

_It sucks to be me._

_Heracles_

_It sucks to be me. __It __sucks to be Heracles..._

_Matthew_

_And Matt..._

_Heracles_

_To not have a job!_

_Matthew_

_To not have a date!_

_BOTH_

_It sucks to be me._

Walking down the street were the ever bickering Roderick and Gilbert.

Upon seeing them Heracles called out to them."Hey, Rod, Gil, can you settle something for us? Do you have a second?"

Stopping to look at them Roderick adjusted his glasses and said, "Why of course"

"Whose life sucks more? Heracles' or mine?" Matthew challenged.

"Ours!"

_Roderick_

_We live together._

_Gilbert_

_We're as close as people can get._

_Roderick_

_We've been the best of buddies..._

_Gilbert_

_Ever since the day we met._

_Roderick_

_So he knows lots of ways to make me really upset. Oh, every day is an aggravation._

_Gilbert_

_Come on, that's an exaggeration!_

_Roderick_

_You leave your clothes out. You put your feet on my chair._

_Gilbert_

_Oh yeah? You do such cheap things like sowing up your underwear._

_Roderick_

_You make that very small apartment we share a hell._

_Gilbert_

_So do you. That's why I'm in hell too!_

_Roderick_

_It sucks to be me!_

_Gilbert_

_No, it sucks to be me!_

_Matthew_

_It sucks to be me!_

_Heracles_

_It sucks to be me!_

_ALL_

_Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be?_

_It sucks to be me!_

_Kiku_

_Why you all so happy?_

_Gilbert_

_Because our lives suck!_

_Kiku_

_Your lives suck? _

_I hearing you correctly? _

_Ha! I coming to this country for opportunities. _

_Tried to work in Korean deli,_

_ but I am Japanese._

_ But with hard work I earn two Master's Degrees _

_in social work! _

_A__nd now I a therapist! _

_But I have no clients!_

_ (smacking Heracles) _

_And I have an unemployed fiancé!_

_ And we have lots of bills to pay! _

_It suck to be me! _

_It suck to be me! _

_I say it_

_Sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka-sucka Suck! _

_It suck to be me._

Walking down the street ready to fail again miserably at Avenue Q Alfred noticed the commotion and walked up to them.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

Noticing him Heracles nodded to him, "Hey there."

"Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a place to live."

Puzzled Kiku asked, "Why you looking all the way out here?"

"Well, I started at Avenue A, but so far everything is out of my price range. But this neighborhood looks a lot cheaper! Oh, and look a "For Rent" sign!"

"You need to talk to the superintendent."Heracles mentioned."Let me get him." Heracles said.

Giving his signature smile Alfred beamed, "Great, thanks!"

"Yo, Eliza!"Heracles yelled out.

"I'm comin'! I'm comin'!" responded a voice from inside a building.

_Elizabetha_

_I'm Elizabetha_

_from famous TV shoes_

_I made a lotta money_

_that got stolen by my folks!_

_Now I'm broke and_

_I'm the butt of everyone's jokes,_

_but I'm here_

_the superintendent!_

_On Avenue Q_

_ALL_

_It sucks to be you._

Matthew raised his hands in surrender."You win!"

_ALL_

_It sucks to be you._

Nodding enthusiastically Heracles said "I feel better now!"

_Elizabetha_

_Try having people stopping you to ask you_

_"What you talkin' 'bout, Lisa?"_

_It gets old_.

_ALL_

_It sucks to be you._

_On Avenue Q._

_(sucks to be me)_

_On Avenue Q._

_(sucks to be you)_

_On Avenue Q._

_(sucks to be us)_

_But not when_

_we're together._

_We're together_

_here on Avenue Q!_

_We live on Avenue Q!_

_Our friends do too!_

_'Til our dreams come true,_

_we live on Avenue Q!_

_Alfred put a hand to his head in shock."This is real life!"_

_ALL_

_We live on Avenue Q!_

Gilbert slung a friendly arm around him, "You're gonna love it."

_ALL_

_We live on Avenue Q!_

Elizabetha hands him a pair of sliver keys."Here's your keys!"

_ALL_

_Welcome to Avenue Q!_

_

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The next chapter will be up in a week so I can catch up on my other stories. Tell me if you like! Reviews are welcome! Thank you and have a nice day!_


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